First Day of Preschool

This little cutie started preschool on September 9th, 2013! I have no idea where time has gone. People really aren't kidding when they say don't blink, it goes so fast. It really really does. I'm sad that she is growing so fast. But it is also so amazing to see who she is becoming as well!

She was so excited for her first day and said that her favorite part was the kids. Such a little social butterfly!

Little miss K-Bug, I love you so much! You are such a spirited little girl and I am so excited to see you grow. But.... let's take it slow. Please stay my little BFF for a little while longer!

1 Month Old

As you can see, Miss Kenni Bear is thrilled to be getting her picture taken! We were graced with this face for the first 8 or so weeks of her life. That is, unless she was being carried around in the Moby Wrap. Seriously a sweet sweet blessing that piece of fabric is!

A little bit about this little peanut:

• Your big sister is your biggest fan!
• You are beginning to smile (socially).
• You are also starting to coo.
• Taking 1-2 oz of formula every 2-3 hours.
• Taking several naps during the day and waking 2-3 times during the night.
• Cries for several hours every night. Usually from about 7:30 PM to 9:30 PM.
• Complete binky baby!
• The Moby Wrap along with a binky is frequently the only way to calm you.
• You absolutely despise your car seat.
• You aren't to fond of bath time either, but you are starting to warm up to it.
• You have a blocked tear duct in your left eye.
• You are a much more cuddly than your sister was. I love it!

The Early Weeks With Some Pretty Special People

The first few weeks home were... hard and exhausting and surreal. And so SO amazing. I wish I would have been better about documenting over the past few months. But to be honest, I have been in survival mode trying to find some sort of normalcy with a new routine, two kids and a husband who works evenings. It seemed impossible.

We had so many of our friends and family come to visit! That really helped get me through the early weeks. I am the type who has a really hard time adjusting to a new baby. Honestly, this time around I figured I had been through it once, with Khloe, and knew what I was up against. So wrong! I was not nearly as prepared as I thought I was for the whirlwind of emotions that those early weeks of adjustment come with. All of the visitors we had really kept me going. I adopted the mentality of “All we need to do is get through the next – X-Number – of days and we will have so many people here to help!" I realize how crazy that sounds when written down, but that is how I got through the long weeks. We really have the best support system and I am so grateful for each and every one of them!

First up! We had Great Grandma Vaught fly in to help take care of Khloe while I was in the hospital. With the unexpected change of plans, it was so sweet of her to make arrangements to come here for the several days she did. We can't thank her enough!

My dad also drove down for the week! I am a daddy's girl through and through and seeing him with my babies is amazing!

Then my best cousin, Lindsey, came for an entire week! She saved me. I hope she knows that. I bawled when she left us :)

We had Rob and John come out. Really, they were here to go to a pre-season Broncos vs Rams game with Dewey :) But they still got to visit and hold Kenedi! A very short, but sweet, visit!

 

Another visit we couldn't wait for was Grandma CoCo, Papa Casey, Aunt Aly and Uncle Steve! They were not here nearly long enough!



 

 I also have the best sister-in-law EVER. I couldn't ask for better! She was here the week that Colorado was in a state of emergency with the flooding in Boulder. But for one day the skies cleared and we were able to get out of the house and went to lunch and Lowry Beer Gardens. So much fun!



 

Great Grandma Vaught came back! And she brought Great Grandpa Vaught with her! These are some of the sweetest pictures that we will treasure forever!

 

 

If it isn't obvious, we have some pretty great people in our life! We love you ALL so much! And we can not begin to thank you for always supporting us.

Welcome Kenedi Grace!

On August 7th, 2013 at 3:07PM we welcomed our sweet Kenedi Grace to the world! 

The day started out way to early! We decided to have an elective induction to ensure we had somebody here at our home for Khloe. We arrived at the hospital at 5:00AM to get things started. I was hooked up to a low dose of Pitocin to get contractions started and I then settled in and tried to get some rest. As I was laying there I noticed some mild aching in my lower right back. I hadn't been on the Pitocin for too long so I chalked it up to normal pregnancy aches and pains. When the nurse came in and asked how I was feeling I told her of the back pain and she told me that it was in fact contractions and she had been monitoring them out at the nurse’s station! She asked if I was ready for an epidural and at that point I was uncomfortable, but it was tolerable. She mentioned that the anesthesiologist was getting ready to head into surgery and it would be a few hours before she would be available again. She suggested I go ahead and get it as I was in labor and regardless I would be having our baby that day. I didn't argue :). Once the epidural was placed I settled back in to try and get some rest. 

My doctor came in to check on me at 9:00AM and I was only at 2 cm. She said she wasn’t too surprised and that usually things would be slow going and then BAM I would dilate a ton. About 1:20PM I felt a lot of pressure and so my nurse checked and I was only at 5 cm. I couldn't believe that's all the progress I had made in four and a half hours! Forty minutes later I was still so uncomfortable and the pressure was getting intense so the nurse checked me again and I had gone up to 9 cm! She was shocked! She had me do a couple small pushes and that had helped me become completely thinned so we stopped until the doctor came in. As soon as the doctor came we were ready to get the show on the road! 

Pushing started out fine. However, after a few contractions baby’s heart rate would dip extremely low and would only come back up once the contractions stopped and I was put on oxygen. When she would recover we would push again, and again her heart rate would dip low. My doctor began getting nervous and ended up calling the NICU doctors in and started talking about the possibility of forceps being used if the baby continued to drop the way she was. I won’t lie, this frightened me. However, as luck would have it, after a few more pushes she was moved down a bit lower and was no longer having the low heart rate episodes. The doctors think that the umbilical cord would become stuck between baby and me when the contractions started, and until they were over and baby wasn’t being pushed down any longer would the umbilical cord open back up allowing oxygen to the baby.  

The rest of the labor went smoothly and after 40 minutes of pushing we welcomed our perfect baby girl to the world! As they laid her on my chest all I could do was cry and tell her how beautiful she was.

 

 

My sweet Kenedi Grace, we love you so much and couldn’t imagine our lives without you!  

39 Week Baby Bump

 

 

 

Today I am 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant. We are on the final countdown for the baby being here, and I cannot believe it! We scheduled an elective induction that is scheduled to take place Wednesday morning.

 

We are so grateful that we have so many wonderful people who love and care fore us. Grandma Vaught will be flying in tomorrow afternoon and will be here to help take care of Khloe while I am in the hospital with the baby. And an added bonus is my dad called and he is also going to drive down!

 

We are so excited to meet this little girl and can't wait to share her with our family and friends!

I Choose Me

"Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are time when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it."

- Ann Landers

 

 

My mother and I do not have a good relationship. Well, as of right now we don't have one at all. I chose me. I chose my daughters. And I chose my husband.

 

This is one of those things that has been years in the making. It wasn't pretty and it is not easy. Although there are more than a few people who applaud me for finally making this decision, it came at an unexpected time. And I feel guilty. Not guilty for my loss of that relationship. I feel that was lost several years ago. The guilt I feel is more for my daughters. I wish they would get to know their biological maternal grandma. Unfortunately at this time I do not feel that is in their best interest.

 

Now for the ugly. A bit of background as to why it has come to this.

 

Several years ago my mother met, and ultimately decided to marry my stepfather. I truly cared for him. Unfortunately for him, he had a very bad habit of making up stories. My mother would confide in me, and of course, although I loved and cared for this man, I would get upset that my mother stayed with him. They would make up and then I would in turn be the bad guy. This happened over and over and over. This is where our relationship started to turn and ultimately I decided to move in with my dad and step mom.

 

Skip forward to my bachelorette party in Las Vegas. Things did not start out well. My mother was there, along with several of my close friends. After dinner a few of us had tickets to go see a show, including my mother. We had gotten to the doors of the casino when I turned around and did not see my mother. We all stopped and turned around to go back to where the restaurant was. We stopped and started looking around. I found my mother walking through the slot machines and told her we needed to go. She got upset with me and asked what my problem was. As we are all standing there she starts saying some pretty unnecessary things to my cousin and my best friend. Finally I told her she shouldn't be there with us and that she needed to go home. She started walking away, turned around, and called me a c**t. I said she was a b***h and told her to leave. Very mature, I know. Over the next several days she and my stepfather began harassing me by sending extremely hurtful text messages to my cell phone.

 

I've said time and time again. If things stopped after the casino incident I don't think we would be where we are at today.

 

Regardless, the things that they had said to me cannot be taken back. And they are not things that can be forgiven and forgotten. They truly broke me. To this day those things have affected who I am. They have affected my relationships. Every single time I have tried to talk to my mother about these  things in the past she would tell me those texts were not meant the way I took them (There is no misunderstanding the tone of these texts, nor the meanness meant behind them), that Las Vegas did not happen the way I said it did (Again, 8 of us were standing right there, not including my mom) or she would tell me she didn't want to go back there because she is moving on.

 

Well, here is my problem. I cannot move on. I haven't had a chance to tell her why I am so bitter. Why I have such a hard time talking to her. Until this past weekend, that is. I finally said stop. I finally told her she isn't the only one who has been hurt. She isn't the only person who gets to be bitter. I went off for well over an hour. She FINALLY seemed to acknowledge my feelings. She FINALLY apologized! When we got off the phone we were okay. We were talking.

 

I told my husband I felt really good. I finally stood up for myself. And most importantly she apologized! I felt like I could finally start healing. I felt like we could finally start repairing our beyond damaged relationship. I was so happy!

 

Unfortunately that feeling did not last long.

 

My mother proceeded to call me several days later. I knew it was going to bad when I answered the phone. You can always tell what kind of conversation it will be depending on how her voice sounds. Well she started getting upset with me. She started out by saying how I hurt her feelings. How she couldn't believe I would bring this up 8 years after it happened. Um, well it has barely been 4 years. And I have tried! Several times! She has shot me down every single time I have tried. Next she starts going off on the close relationship I have with my dad and my step mom. I had to stop her. I am sick and tired of her trying to make me feel bad for those relationships. I am a 28 year old woman. She does not get a say in my relationships. And it is inappropriate for her to talk badly about them to me. I finally had to get very real and tell her she needed to stop talking to me about them. My relationships with them will not change. And ultimately, they are NONE of her business. NONE! She wouldn't stop.

 

And that is where I broke. That is where I finally said I was done. I cannot do this anymore. I told her to stop calling me. I've blocked every way she has to get a hold of me. I know that if I hadn't gone to these extreme measures I would be pulled back in.

 

I have come to the realization that I cannot move past my feelings and work on myself with her in my life. My anger, my hurt, my broken spirit is due to our past. All I can hope for is that she will get the help she needs as well. That she will stop relying on everybody else, that she will become an independent person, that she will get healthy (mentally and physically) and that she will learn to love again. Maybe then we can attempt to repair this shattered relationship.

 

Until then, I choose me.

 



A Special Visit - Cristie

A few short days after Rob and Kristen left to go home I had another very special visit! My forever bestie, Cristie, came into town to stay for a few days. She came in late Thursday evening so after I picked her up from the airport we came straight back to my house and chatted for a bit and went to bed.

Friday we woke up and got ready, and Cristie took me to lunch. It was totally unexpected and she didn't need to do that! After, we then decided to head downtown to see if we could get to Sports Authority arena. The GPS kept taking us to random places downtown. We ended up giving up on that and came home to get Khloe down for a nap and to get dinner going.

 

Love this girl! She was so awesome with my lack of energy and was totally fine with just hanging around on the couch if that is what I needed.

Saturday Cristie surprised me with another girl day! Apparently she had talked to Dewey without me knowing and had planned for him to take Khloe so that we could go get lunch and pedi's. AGAIN on her! She is seriously to good for me. After our Pedi's we came home and Dewey took us to Sport's Authority. He didn't have troubles finding it like we did :)



Seriously?! Isn't she the best?! Some people go their entire lives not finding their Cristie!







Khloe loves her Aunt Cristie! She'll pick her over me EVERYTIME!



Sadly, Sunday came way to quickly. We had to get up and out of the house early cause I wanted to take Cris to lunch before she had to get on her plane. The absolute least we could do considering her spoiling me ALL weekend!

 

I was so sad to see her go. But I know nothing can change our friendship. We will always be able to pick up right where we left off, no matter the time between visits. Much love my bestie!